Family Stories from Aunt Barbara Pouncey

Early Family Background

• Parents: Herbert Hyman Amass (1910–1964) and Helen Elaine Xanthull (1915–1963).

“I was born in ’43. Beverly was born in ’44. And in ’45 was when the divorce was final.”

• Siblings: Shirley (b. Dec 5, 1941), Barbara (b. Jan 9, 1943), Beverly (b. 1944).
• Brother: Paul, born July 1940, died at 3–4 months old in their father's arms while waiting in a Baltimore doctor’s office.

“The doctor said, ‘Take your baby home, there’s nothing wrong with him.’ Daddy said, ‘No, something’s wrong with my baby.’ And the baby died in his arms.”

After the Divorce

• Raised by their father, Herbert, after their mother left.
• Aunt Bessie (father’s sister) came from California to help raise the girls while Herbert was out at sea.

“He was gone for three years. Two of those years he never came home.”

Curiosity Sparks the Search

• Barbara began looking through her father’s sea trunk.

“I remember seeing a picture… and on the back of it, it said Paul E. Xanthull. I pieced it together—that’s got to be her brother.”

Chance Encounter

• In early 1960s Houston, Barbara visited a doctor who turned out to have also been her mother’s doctor.

“What are the odds of the doctor I go to being my mother’s doctor?”

The Search Intensifies (1983)

• She wrote letters to Oprah, Phil Donahue, and others seeking help.

“I wrote every Phil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey… trying to get somebody to hear my story.”

• Sister Beverly revealed their parents were married in Houston. Barbara realized she’d never tried calling there. She contacted directory assistance.

“I started screaming. ‘They’re alive! They’re alive!’”

The Breakthrough

• In October 1983, Barbara and Billy traveled to Houston. They visited the address from the directory. Billy found mail addressed to Paul E. Xanthull with a phone bill showing the number.

“Billy said, ‘I got a number!’”

• They called and spoke with Pauly (Paul Jr.), who had just moved from California to Houston six months earlier.

“If I had come in June like I wanted, he might not have even been there yet.”

The Reunion

• Through Pauly, Barbara connected with Aunt Cleo and learned her grandmother had once tried to visit the children through social services, but they hadn’t known it was her.

“They didn’t tell us it was our grandmother and aunt.”

Aunt Bessie’s Death (1984)

• A year after reuniting with family, Barbara traveled to California. Aunt Bessie died the morning Barbara arrived.

“She had gone to the bus stop… and while she was sitting there waiting on the bus to come, she had a heart attack and died.”

Religious Conversion and Family Tension

• Barbara converted to Christianity despite her Jewish upbringing.

“Daddy said, ‘If it’s your religion, hang on to it. I like the new you.’”

Mailing the Wooden Leg to the President

“Daddy said, ‘If you got to do something, do it right the first time. Go to the top.’ And that’s why he sent it to the President.”

Her Mother's Death (1963)

• Barbara never got to meet her mother. Uncle Paul called from Oregon with the news.

“He said, ‘I’m not a hypocrite. I didn’t love her when she was alive, and I won’t go to the funeral.’” “I went to the closet and cried. ‘Why, Jesus? Why does everyone have to die before I get to see them?’”

Seeing Her Mother for the First Time

• Aunt Cleo later sent Barbara a photo.

“She looked just like Shirley. That’s why Daddy was so hard on Shirley.”

Final Reflection

“Don’t take it to your grave. Tell it. Share it.” “I have to get it all on paper… it’s a miracle we made it.”

Stories That May Need Clarification

1. The shooting of the doctor by her father—were there legal consequences?
2. Any response from the White House about the mailed prosthetic leg?
3. More background on Irene and the Ryan branch of the family.
4. Further context on the religious conversion and extended family's reactions.